Ok, this entry will not be in article form. This is just a plain ol' blog. My thoughts spattered out in random order...
We have made a decision. We are moving! Finally. That's that.
Brandon told me on Monday that he made the decision. His business is not ideally where we would like it to be to move, BUT that's ok. We are ready to take that risk. We are ready to hold hands and jump with both feet off of this proverbial cliff.
We have decided to move to Williamsburg, Kentucky, which is where I grew up and where my family lives. (Yes, my mom and dad are VERY excited!!) We want to live in the Smoky Mountains, but we believe that 1.) the cost of living in Williamsburg should be much less 2.) it will be so great to be around my family on a regular, consistent basis 3.) since Brandon will be living like a hermit anyway, we might as well be where the cost of living is less and closer to my folks.
Williamsburg is a very small town; actually it has grown a lot since I have been gone. But, we are both ready to just live quietly, peacefully, and very simply.
We leave on Saturday to drive down there for a week. During that week, I will be looking for work and for housing. Ok, this might sound weird to some, but I had a vision last night about our house. We are praying for a house in the country. I believe God showed me where we will live, at least showed me the house... Maybe I just want this really badly... but, in case this is totally a God-thing, I want to write it down... I saw a two story farm house in the country. It was white with a large, old tree to the left of the house (my left as I am looking at the house...). I was at a ladies' gathering last night, ladies from church. We were all praying when God showed this to me. It could be wishful thinking.. but, I believe it is from God in some way..
If I get a job next week and we find housing, then we are moving; just like that. We had said that we would wait until June... But, that was only because I have been subbing and making some money for us. If I get a job in Williamsburg, then there is no reason that we need to stay here... Whooo Hooo!!
Anyway, I just want to praise God for all His goodness, blessing, and prosperity. He is taking care of us and providing for our needs and desires! God is awesome! Thank you, Jesus!!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Whatever It Takes.
"I'll do whatever it takes."
How often have you heard that or said that yourself? What does that phrase really mean? What does it really take? I suppose that depends on what you want to achieve.
Brandon and I live our life very differently from the average American. We have specific and unique priorities, goals, and dreams, which we plan to make into a tangible reality, and very soon. In order to do that, we have COMMITTED to do "whatever it takes." For us, we mean this to the full extent of the phrase, WHATEVER it takes. To us, the "whatever" means sacrifice, giving up something to gain something else that has more value or giving up in the short term what we know we will be able to have in the long run, for the long term, like cable TV, cell phones, fancy cars, getting my nails done, buying a home, etc.
As we become closer and closer to achieving our Dream, the "whatever" becomes harder and harder. To achieve a dream, one has to stay POSITIVE! Naysayers are not welcomed in our home or in our company. Negativity will KILL you and the dream you rode in on. If you really stop and listen to the people around you and the words they are speaking, hear the negative words. Once you become aware of negative words, you will realize their impact. AND, it's not just negative WORDS, it's negative ACTIONS. Negative actions include body posture and facial expressions, or even a quiet silence that really screams, "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! You will NEVER achieve that!" Ahhh, loaded, screaming silence. How must one endure loaded, screaming negative silence? Especially when it comes from people who care about you or friends you care about?
As the Dream becomes closer and closer, the "whatever it takes" begins to completely strip us down to emotional, mental, and even spiritual nakedness. The "whatever it takes" becomes leaving the naysayers behind, sometimes way behind. Breaking away from friends and family is never easy, but in the grand scheme of things, when looking at the whole, eternal picture of our Dream, to us, it is worth it.
We are venturers. The word venture means the following, (Please endure my geeky-ness. There is a point.): to expose to hazard; risk, gamble; to undertake the risks and dangers of; brave; to offer at the risk of rebuff or rejection; to proceed especially in the face of danger (Thank you Merriam-Webster.com)
When I read this definition, I knew that this word alone describes exactly what we have been through, what we are going through, and what we have yet to experience. A venture. Risk. Gamble. To offer at the risk of rejection. To proceed especially in the face of danger. This all goes along with the journey mantra that keeps echoing in my head, the "if you want this, come and claim this" attitude I have.
Now I am in the extreme stages of "whatever it takes." I feel raw, emotionally naked, sword-wielding, and savage. And it feels good. It feels good because I know that our Dream is getting closer and closer every day. With each risk we take, with each face of danger we punch, with each rejection, I know it is one step closer to the mountain top, or in our case the Smoky Mountains. With each shedding of short term fleshly wants, I know we are closer to the eternal goal and mission that God has given us.
And so, we bravely venture forward, holding tightly to each other, doing whatever it takes.
How often have you heard that or said that yourself? What does that phrase really mean? What does it really take? I suppose that depends on what you want to achieve.
Brandon and I live our life very differently from the average American. We have specific and unique priorities, goals, and dreams, which we plan to make into a tangible reality, and very soon. In order to do that, we have COMMITTED to do "whatever it takes." For us, we mean this to the full extent of the phrase, WHATEVER it takes. To us, the "whatever" means sacrifice, giving up something to gain something else that has more value or giving up in the short term what we know we will be able to have in the long run, for the long term, like cable TV, cell phones, fancy cars, getting my nails done, buying a home, etc.
As we become closer and closer to achieving our Dream, the "whatever" becomes harder and harder. To achieve a dream, one has to stay POSITIVE! Naysayers are not welcomed in our home or in our company. Negativity will KILL you and the dream you rode in on. If you really stop and listen to the people around you and the words they are speaking, hear the negative words. Once you become aware of negative words, you will realize their impact. AND, it's not just negative WORDS, it's negative ACTIONS. Negative actions include body posture and facial expressions, or even a quiet silence that really screams, "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! You will NEVER achieve that!" Ahhh, loaded, screaming silence. How must one endure loaded, screaming negative silence? Especially when it comes from people who care about you or friends you care about?
As the Dream becomes closer and closer, the "whatever it takes" begins to completely strip us down to emotional, mental, and even spiritual nakedness. The "whatever it takes" becomes leaving the naysayers behind, sometimes way behind. Breaking away from friends and family is never easy, but in the grand scheme of things, when looking at the whole, eternal picture of our Dream, to us, it is worth it.
We are venturers. The word venture means the following, (Please endure my geeky-ness. There is a point.): to expose to hazard; risk, gamble; to undertake the risks and dangers of; brave; to offer at the risk of rebuff or rejection; to proceed especially in the face of danger (Thank you Merriam-Webster.com)
When I read this definition, I knew that this word alone describes exactly what we have been through, what we are going through, and what we have yet to experience. A venture. Risk. Gamble. To offer at the risk of rejection. To proceed especially in the face of danger. This all goes along with the journey mantra that keeps echoing in my head, the "if you want this, come and claim this" attitude I have.
Now I am in the extreme stages of "whatever it takes." I feel raw, emotionally naked, sword-wielding, and savage. And it feels good. It feels good because I know that our Dream is getting closer and closer every day. With each risk we take, with each face of danger we punch, with each rejection, I know it is one step closer to the mountain top, or in our case the Smoky Mountains. With each shedding of short term fleshly wants, I know we are closer to the eternal goal and mission that God has given us.
And so, we bravely venture forward, holding tightly to each other, doing whatever it takes.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
That Healin' Feelin'
I subbed at the local high school yesterday. It was crazy. I got a phone call at 7:02 a.m. to be there at 7:40 a.m. I was still in my house robe, with a fresh cup of coffee ready to sip, when the phone rang. I accepted the job, then called the school and told them I'd be late, no later than 8:00 a.m. The whirl wind began. Washed my hair, slapped on make-up, yanked on clothes, all the while my precious hubby was making my lunch, putting my coffee in a travel mug, and warming up my car! Whatta Man! Whoo Hoo, honey! I actually set foot in the school by 7:50 a.m. The subbing day went smoothly. The kids were great! Very well behaved and fun. I always have fun. I enjoy joking with the kids and laughing.
I was standing at the door during the passing time between classes. I like watching the kids walk by, seeing what they are wearing, who they are holding hands with, when I got the most amazing feeling deep down in my spirit. I'm healed. Emotionally and spiritually and mentally. I am healed. It has been very difficult for me to go back to the high school because I have felt embarrassment and failure, and I have felt burned out, burned out of just everything. Yesterday, Friday, was the first day I had subbed in about 10 days, so I have had some serious home-time, and time to heal and re-boot, so to speak. Then, yesterday, I felt totally healed from the whole catastrophe! Thank you, Jesus! Man, God is goooood!!
So, here I am. Exactly one month to the day, completely healed. February 9th was when she "let me go" and yesterday was March 9th, the day of my healing. (Both are my month-a-versary. We've been married for 69 months!) Now that I am healed, God can get on with His plans for us. I know we are going to move; I can see it, feel it, taste it, hear it, and smell it!!! God tells us that "whatever we ask for in prayer, believing, we WILL receive it!" BELIEVING, WE WILL RECEIVE. I believe. I believe now more than I did yesterday, and the day before that... and the day before that!
Lord, we thank you and praise you for our move to Tennessee! Amen!
I was standing at the door during the passing time between classes. I like watching the kids walk by, seeing what they are wearing, who they are holding hands with, when I got the most amazing feeling deep down in my spirit. I'm healed. Emotionally and spiritually and mentally. I am healed. It has been very difficult for me to go back to the high school because I have felt embarrassment and failure, and I have felt burned out, burned out of just everything. Yesterday, Friday, was the first day I had subbed in about 10 days, so I have had some serious home-time, and time to heal and re-boot, so to speak. Then, yesterday, I felt totally healed from the whole catastrophe! Thank you, Jesus! Man, God is goooood!!
So, here I am. Exactly one month to the day, completely healed. February 9th was when she "let me go" and yesterday was March 9th, the day of my healing. (Both are my month-a-versary. We've been married for 69 months!) Now that I am healed, God can get on with His plans for us. I know we are going to move; I can see it, feel it, taste it, hear it, and smell it!!! God tells us that "whatever we ask for in prayer, believing, we WILL receive it!" BELIEVING, WE WILL RECEIVE. I believe. I believe now more than I did yesterday, and the day before that... and the day before that!
Lord, we thank you and praise you for our move to Tennessee! Amen!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
From the Tribe
What is your dream? Think really hard. If money is not an issue, what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you see? Who would you help? What's that one thing that you have always wanted to do, but haven't or never did? AND, what price is that dream worth to you? That is, what would you DO to make it happen?
Since these are the times of reality TV, I am sure that many of you have seen Survivor, where many individuals are dropped off in the middle of practically nowhere, on a beach or outback somewhere. They are pitted against each other as they lie, betray, race, and starve their way toward a million dollars. Some of you may not be a big fan, others of you may be addicts, but nevertheless, you have seen a clip or commercial and are familiar with this show in some way. (I've often thought I'd like to be on that island for about 15 or 20 days, just enough to lose 20 pounds...)
When you think about your dream, is it worth having less food? No cable? No cell pone? No SUV? What would you REALLY do to achieve that dream? What would you give up? or let go of?
We are achieving our dream. It is slow going, sometimes excruciatingly so. However, we can see it growing before us. We have made sacrifices; sacrifices that we have CHOSEN. We CHOSE to do less and have less so that we can be doing exactly what we want, when we want, and how we want. Yeah, sometimes we miss things or want things, but in the grand scheme of things, those minor wants are not worth taking two steps back from achieving our dream.
The past couple of nights I have not gotten good, sound sleep. I am a light sleeper, and since my hubby is working (at home) odd hours, he wakes me when he does not mean to. I was thinking about this at 4:45 a.m. this morning while lying in bed, unable to sleep. I thought well, humph, I could get mad about this. I could stomp into the other room and fuss at him for disturbing my precious sleep, all the while making him feel bad. But, what will that gain me? In the grand scheme of things when compared to our dream and mission, absolutely nothing but lost sleep. I asked myself, is this mission and dream worth losing a couple hours of sleep today? Well, heck yeah!! I'd give up a week of sleep if it meant that at the end of that week we'd have our dream in hand!!! I believe in my husband and what he is doing. So, in support of that (actions speak VOLUMES!), I got up, put on my heavy, warm robe, made the bed, and went into the other room, and was able to celebrate growth and advances that he had made during the night!
I could list everything we are doing without, or "missing out on," but, honestly, that's just complaining. We live like we want to live; we are both home, enjoying life and each other. All those "have nots" will later become "haves." Yes, sometimes it does feel like we are in our own personal season of Survivor (except for the becoming emaciated part), but it's worth it. ALL of it is worth it.
The tribe has spoken.
Since these are the times of reality TV, I am sure that many of you have seen Survivor, where many individuals are dropped off in the middle of practically nowhere, on a beach or outback somewhere. They are pitted against each other as they lie, betray, race, and starve their way toward a million dollars. Some of you may not be a big fan, others of you may be addicts, but nevertheless, you have seen a clip or commercial and are familiar with this show in some way. (I've often thought I'd like to be on that island for about 15 or 20 days, just enough to lose 20 pounds...)
When you think about your dream, is it worth having less food? No cable? No cell pone? No SUV? What would you REALLY do to achieve that dream? What would you give up? or let go of?
We are achieving our dream. It is slow going, sometimes excruciatingly so. However, we can see it growing before us. We have made sacrifices; sacrifices that we have CHOSEN. We CHOSE to do less and have less so that we can be doing exactly what we want, when we want, and how we want. Yeah, sometimes we miss things or want things, but in the grand scheme of things, those minor wants are not worth taking two steps back from achieving our dream.
The past couple of nights I have not gotten good, sound sleep. I am a light sleeper, and since my hubby is working (at home) odd hours, he wakes me when he does not mean to. I was thinking about this at 4:45 a.m. this morning while lying in bed, unable to sleep. I thought well, humph, I could get mad about this. I could stomp into the other room and fuss at him for disturbing my precious sleep, all the while making him feel bad. But, what will that gain me? In the grand scheme of things when compared to our dream and mission, absolutely nothing but lost sleep. I asked myself, is this mission and dream worth losing a couple hours of sleep today? Well, heck yeah!! I'd give up a week of sleep if it meant that at the end of that week we'd have our dream in hand!!! I believe in my husband and what he is doing. So, in support of that (actions speak VOLUMES!), I got up, put on my heavy, warm robe, made the bed, and went into the other room, and was able to celebrate growth and advances that he had made during the night!
I could list everything we are doing without, or "missing out on," but, honestly, that's just complaining. We live like we want to live; we are both home, enjoying life and each other. All those "have nots" will later become "haves." Yes, sometimes it does feel like we are in our own personal season of Survivor (except for the becoming emaciated part), but it's worth it. ALL of it is worth it.
The tribe has spoken.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
If you want this, come and claim this!!
I've been reading the first book, or rather a prequel, to the series Shannara by Terry Brooks. These books (I'm reading The First King of Shannara, Shannara being a family name, Elven family name that is. I am fascinated by Elves, and enjoy reading about them.) are fantasy, mirroring the Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, except not as dense. The Shannara series takes the main characters through a journey, battling the elements, and the powerful, sinister Evil-doer. There are Elves (my favorite), Dwarves, and Gnomes, oh my! And sorcerers, faeries, horses, and moore cats (really cool, yet very scary lion/tiger-type cats that can change colors with their environment). I have allowed myself time to sit down and really get into this book. I am on the last "book" of this book; it is split into three sections within the book itself, and have the next book in the series, The Sword of Shannara, on stand-by.
One of the main characters, Breman, a Gandulf-type character, and his two companions, Mareth and Kinson, are on a journey, fighting evil, of course. Several times their journey takes them across the land, somewhat like Middle Earth. They are exposed to the elements, rain, heat, darkness, harsh sun, lack of food, walking for miles and miles and miles at a time, all the while trying to stay hidden from the Skull Bears who fly in the sky searching out their prey to devour them and the evil Warlock Lord (ooooooooh, scary). Yet, Breman and his small posse push forward, knowing that the cause for which they endure all if this is much greater than the hunger pains, wet clothes, tired feet, and sometimes even doubt of self and cause.
Now bare with me. What I am about to say might sound very silly; I am aware of that, however, I have thought a lot about this lately.
Brandon and I are on a journey. We have been entrusted, charged with a great and mighty mission. From the beginning of our marriage, Satan has done a great deal to try to keep us from that mission. He is the Evil Force in our story. He is the Warlock Lord and Skull Bearer and Sauron who constantly tells us that we cannot and will not succeed, as well as putting obstacles in our path. Many times he has tried to knock us down or tear at our marriage. Many times he has tried to discourage us through circumstances which seem to tear at us, such as our recent set back in Maryville, TN. Yet, we trudge forward into the rain, heat, and darkness. We have had to regroup, set up another strategy, prepare a new battle plan, all the while clinging to each other and to the mission which God has given us. Right now, finances are tight, probably the tightest they have ever been. You know why? Because we are on the cusp of an amazing and major break through. All this lean-ness makes us even more determined to make it happen, to complete our journey, and not only complete it but complete it with joyous hearts and soaring spirits. (Take THAT Satan! ha!)
During the weekend of our crazy event with the lady in Maryville and all the crazy emotions I was going through, I had a friend email me. She responded to my email about the whole situation. She said for us to expect a huge blessing from God in March. Now, some of you may not believe the Gifts of the Spirit, which include a Word of Knowledge, but that is ok. You don't have to. We do, and in this story, that's what matters. I believe we will receive a huge blessing in March. She confirmed to me what my spirit had already been whispering to me. Expect God's blessing and miracle in your life. Expect it in March. Believing, you WILL receive.
We will continue forward, trudging through the elements, the small battles and even the great battles, because, you see, before we fight those battles, we already have victory. Christ went before us, fought those battles and won. As we march forward in faith, holding tightly to our great charge, we are victorious, triumphant conquerors.
When we are faced with another battle, whether it be finances, doubt, or impatience, I picture myself as Arwen, the Elven princess, astride the white steed, holding tightly to my charge facing Satan and his minions, with their black wraith cloaks and menacing faceless horrors pointed directly at me... With the Almighty Power of Jesus Christ pulsing through my veins and victory claimed, I dare them..
"If you want this, come and claim this!!!!"
One of the main characters, Breman, a Gandulf-type character, and his two companions, Mareth and Kinson, are on a journey, fighting evil, of course. Several times their journey takes them across the land, somewhat like Middle Earth. They are exposed to the elements, rain, heat, darkness, harsh sun, lack of food, walking for miles and miles and miles at a time, all the while trying to stay hidden from the Skull Bears who fly in the sky searching out their prey to devour them and the evil Warlock Lord (ooooooooh, scary). Yet, Breman and his small posse push forward, knowing that the cause for which they endure all if this is much greater than the hunger pains, wet clothes, tired feet, and sometimes even doubt of self and cause.
Now bare with me. What I am about to say might sound very silly; I am aware of that, however, I have thought a lot about this lately.
Brandon and I are on a journey. We have been entrusted, charged with a great and mighty mission. From the beginning of our marriage, Satan has done a great deal to try to keep us from that mission. He is the Evil Force in our story. He is the Warlock Lord and Skull Bearer and Sauron who constantly tells us that we cannot and will not succeed, as well as putting obstacles in our path. Many times he has tried to knock us down or tear at our marriage. Many times he has tried to discourage us through circumstances which seem to tear at us, such as our recent set back in Maryville, TN. Yet, we trudge forward into the rain, heat, and darkness. We have had to regroup, set up another strategy, prepare a new battle plan, all the while clinging to each other and to the mission which God has given us. Right now, finances are tight, probably the tightest they have ever been. You know why? Because we are on the cusp of an amazing and major break through. All this lean-ness makes us even more determined to make it happen, to complete our journey, and not only complete it but complete it with joyous hearts and soaring spirits. (Take THAT Satan! ha!)
During the weekend of our crazy event with the lady in Maryville and all the crazy emotions I was going through, I had a friend email me. She responded to my email about the whole situation. She said for us to expect a huge blessing from God in March. Now, some of you may not believe the Gifts of the Spirit, which include a Word of Knowledge, but that is ok. You don't have to. We do, and in this story, that's what matters. I believe we will receive a huge blessing in March. She confirmed to me what my spirit had already been whispering to me. Expect God's blessing and miracle in your life. Expect it in March. Believing, you WILL receive.
We will continue forward, trudging through the elements, the small battles and even the great battles, because, you see, before we fight those battles, we already have victory. Christ went before us, fought those battles and won. As we march forward in faith, holding tightly to our great charge, we are victorious, triumphant conquerors.
When we are faced with another battle, whether it be finances, doubt, or impatience, I picture myself as Arwen, the Elven princess, astride the white steed, holding tightly to my charge facing Satan and his minions, with their black wraith cloaks and menacing faceless horrors pointed directly at me... With the Almighty Power of Jesus Christ pulsing through my veins and victory claimed, I dare them..
"If you want this, come and claim this!!!!"
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