I awoke with a start. The room was dark. I knew I had heard a sound, something that startled me, seemingly shook me awake. I listened. I heard the lulling, rhythmic sound of my sweet husband sleeping. Evidentially he had not heard it. I continued to listen. Nothing. I listened for a few moments longer, then rolled over on my side and slowly dozed off back to sleep. A lighter sleep this time.
There it was again! I heard it and suddenly knew exactly where it came from this time. I hesitated to even admit I knew where it came from. It came from ME. I had farted. In my relaxed, comfy state it jumped out, waking me. I listened; hubby stirred. "You OK?" he asked. "Yeah, fine." My face was pink, but he could not see it in the dark. Fortunately my midnight toot-fest did not wake him, at least not this time.
It happens randomly. It wakes me up, and I always wait and listen to see if it woke him up. If he's awake I say, "Sorry." Believe it or not, Hubster and I are pretty private about that sort of thing. So, you can imagine how embarrassed I get when it's in the middle of the night and unexpectedly rings the bell that cannot be unrung!
While I've laid there listening to see if Hubster heard me, I've often wondered and thought... When I was single, I don't remember waking myself up in the middle of the night with such sounds. Or maybe I did, and just never figured out what the sound was that woke me up. OR maybe it's just because NOW I have Hubster in the bed to witness my toot uncommon.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
65 a week.
Disclaimer: The following blog post is rated PG13 and may contain curse words or ideas that you do not agree with. In the event that you do decide to read this post anyway, and are insulted by its content, then I was not talking to you. All scripture quoted is from the New American Standard Version.
A couple years ago. A few years ago. OK, fine. Several years ago (about 15 ) I was a counselor at Ponderosa Bible Camp in Mentone, Alabama. One of the memory verses we worked so hard to teach our kids, and of course, by the end of the summer was completely ingrained in my brain, heart and soul, was Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is NOT against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the forces of darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." The verse after that, verse 13, tells us to "take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist the evil day [Satan himself], and having done everything to stand firm, stand." Which emphatically tells us to continue standing, standing strong, standing firm. (Verse 14 goes on to tell us exactly WHAT the armor of God really is, which I will save for another blog post.) I had no idea how so many years later that verse would resonate with me, how it would empower me to know that my life's struggle is against Satan and his evil forces, that my struggle is NOT against God. John 10:10 reminds us that "The Thief comes ONLY to steal, kill and destroy; I [Jesus Christ] come so that they [you and me] may have life, and have it ABUNDANTLY."
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels Satan's attacks lately. Satan attacks the strong, not the weak. He already has the weak. But, I very spiritually strong. It's true. I recognize Satan's attacks and call him out on them every time, which pisses him off. (Here come some cuss words, so if you are easily offended, you'd best stop reading...) Satan is a bastard. He does not seem to understand that I WILL and DO stand face to face with him in each battle. And, in each attack, each battle I have Jesus Christ and a legion of angels behind me. Satan does not seem to understand or recognize that I ALREADY HAVE VICTORY. He still advances with his life situations that dare me to falter in my faith.
Recession. The Stock Market (and other markets) fell last year, almost bottoming out, having a major, negative effect on the country and world. The economy (usually said with a sad, negative tone in reference to "lack of work/jobs.") Swine flu. H1N1 virus. Lack of jobs, sickness, disease, death. Man! No wonder our nation is on drugs to get them through life. If I let myself take all that in and really BELIEVE that it will effect me, find me, and take over my life, I'd just curl up in a dark corner in a fetal position, suck my thumb... and die! However, I am a Child of the Living God who has promised me abundant life! We have really struggled this past year, almost for a year and a half now. We lost almost $60K last year. Seriously. When the Markets fell, we lost about $25K that Brandon was trading with, using to create our income of about $35K. There was nothing that he could have done to prevent that. He is methodical and calculating and super smart. Nothing could have been done. We lived with bickering, divorced grandparents and tried to keep to ourselves in the basement. Brandon had two jobs. I moved to Kentucky and took on a job and lived with a friend. Brandon and I were physically separated while he brought in two full time incomes and I brought in one full time income. Our marriage has not suffered, it continues to strengthen... Then he got a new job and moved in with me again (yay!) and our friend. We decided we should move closer to his work (to save $200 in gas due to commuting). We finally found a place that would allow us to have our cats and moved to London, KY. I quit my job in Williamsburg (so I would not have to commute) and spent all summer looking for a job close to home that would give me fulfilment, and I found one. Then about three weeks ago, Brandon was fired from his job, which we believe God RELEASED him from, due to the stress it put on him and on our marriage. These are just some highlights. I won't go into the details of the daily conflicts and struggles that came with each situation, but you can imagine.
Financially it has been really tight, or lean. "Lean times," my husband says. Yes, lean it is. Time to be lean and LEAN on Christ! I have often said that I am soooooo blessed and grateful that I am a Child of God, because if I was not, I cannot even begin to imagine how truly horrible the past year and a half would have been if we had not totally leaned on Christ!! Since we belong to Him, He has truly taken care of us. Though our finances have been extremely tight, we still have everything we need and occasionally even a little extra.
Actually, I am amazed at how little we do need. Sometimes, for me, the struggle is not to keep to our extremely tight budget, but my struggle is sometimes with self denial, that is - telling myself that I really don't NEED this or that. For the past four months now we have been allowing ourselves only $65 a week for a variable budget. The variable budget being: groceries, household items, hygiene items, pet needs, leisure/entertainment (movies, eating out, etc.)... gas is not included in the variable budget. Yes, I have to be very organized. Yes, I have to plan out meals and cook often. Yes, we take our lunches to work. No, we have not had Starbucks coffee in a long time. We don't buy something until we need it. Imagine that concept! I don't get another tube of tooth paste until the one we are using only has about 2 uses left. AND! Because I have been so methodical at planning meals and using ALL the food we buy, we have had much, much less food waste! I hate wasting food. When I plan for meals/groceries, I plan so that whatever I make will make other meals. For example, when I buy a whole chicken, I know we can get a least six meals out of it; it will feed two people three times.
Then, Brandon loses his job. It was a Monday. He called me at work. I know he hated to tell me. But he did. At first, I was sick, then tears came. I thought about that $65 a week and thought how could it possibly be less. Our cars, though we don't have a monthly payent, are beginning to break down slowy and need repair. I thought, how will we ever afford/buy gifts for Christmas. Then I got mad. I called out Satan, and stood toe to toe, nose to nose with him. I spit in his face and reminded him that he is a yellow-bellied bastard who will remain under my foot. Tuesday came. Brandon applied to and had an interview with a company. By Friday he was hired! Take that Satan!! You will NOT touch my home, marriage, husband or life!!! With his new job comes less stress, benefits, and God's abundance! Now, we are still in lean times. We still stick to $65 a week, and are believing God for growth in our finances; there are still projects that will need tending to, car repairs mainly, and money for Christmas gifts and a few other little things here and there that manage to really add up. BUT! Know that God is glorified! When we have told people that Brandon was hired to a new job within a week of being released from his former job, most people are amazed and say, "In THIS economy? That's a miracle!" Yes, it is. It's a miracle because we are Children of God. He is our Father who loves his children and cares for us deeply. He gives us life and gives it more abundantly.
I've been preaching this morning. Preaching to myself, mostly. When I write about God's blessings and abundance, despite our struggles, I am encouraged. I enjoying sharing with others how, no matter what the struggle, GOD is a good God. Satan is the Destroyer, but Christ is the Giver of Life!
I enjoy getting hand written letters in the mail. I would love to get notes of encouragement in the mail from those of you who read our story and are encouraged or who are praying for us. I know many, many of you have been praying for us and I have felt the spiritual power behind those prayers! If you write to me, I'll write back. Promise. Right now, I only have 4 stamps left. So, for now, it will be the first four who write who will get letters in response! If any more of you write, I'll be believing God for more stamps for response! (Serioulsy!) Also, if you want me to come speak to a Bible Study, women's group, church, youth group etc., I would love to do that. I promise I will NOT cuss. =]
Here is our address:
The Wilhites, Brandon & Stacey
1619 Keavy Rd., Apt. B
London, KY 40744
A couple years ago. A few years ago. OK, fine. Several years ago (about 15 ) I was a counselor at Ponderosa Bible Camp in Mentone, Alabama. One of the memory verses we worked so hard to teach our kids, and of course, by the end of the summer was completely ingrained in my brain, heart and soul, was Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is NOT against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the forces of darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." The verse after that, verse 13, tells us to "take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist the evil day [Satan himself], and having done everything to stand firm, stand." Which emphatically tells us to continue standing, standing strong, standing firm. (Verse 14 goes on to tell us exactly WHAT the armor of God really is, which I will save for another blog post.) I had no idea how so many years later that verse would resonate with me, how it would empower me to know that my life's struggle is against Satan and his evil forces, that my struggle is NOT against God. John 10:10 reminds us that "The Thief comes ONLY to steal, kill and destroy; I [Jesus Christ] come so that they [you and me] may have life, and have it ABUNDANTLY."
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels Satan's attacks lately. Satan attacks the strong, not the weak. He already has the weak. But, I very spiritually strong. It's true. I recognize Satan's attacks and call him out on them every time, which pisses him off. (Here come some cuss words, so if you are easily offended, you'd best stop reading...) Satan is a bastard. He does not seem to understand that I WILL and DO stand face to face with him in each battle. And, in each attack, each battle I have Jesus Christ and a legion of angels behind me. Satan does not seem to understand or recognize that I ALREADY HAVE VICTORY. He still advances with his life situations that dare me to falter in my faith.
Recession. The Stock Market (and other markets) fell last year, almost bottoming out, having a major, negative effect on the country and world. The economy (usually said with a sad, negative tone in reference to "lack of work/jobs.") Swine flu. H1N1 virus. Lack of jobs, sickness, disease, death. Man! No wonder our nation is on drugs to get them through life. If I let myself take all that in and really BELIEVE that it will effect me, find me, and take over my life, I'd just curl up in a dark corner in a fetal position, suck my thumb... and die! However, I am a Child of the Living God who has promised me abundant life! We have really struggled this past year, almost for a year and a half now. We lost almost $60K last year. Seriously. When the Markets fell, we lost about $25K that Brandon was trading with, using to create our income of about $35K. There was nothing that he could have done to prevent that. He is methodical and calculating and super smart. Nothing could have been done. We lived with bickering, divorced grandparents and tried to keep to ourselves in the basement. Brandon had two jobs. I moved to Kentucky and took on a job and lived with a friend. Brandon and I were physically separated while he brought in two full time incomes and I brought in one full time income. Our marriage has not suffered, it continues to strengthen... Then he got a new job and moved in with me again (yay!) and our friend. We decided we should move closer to his work (to save $200 in gas due to commuting). We finally found a place that would allow us to have our cats and moved to London, KY. I quit my job in Williamsburg (so I would not have to commute) and spent all summer looking for a job close to home that would give me fulfilment, and I found one. Then about three weeks ago, Brandon was fired from his job, which we believe God RELEASED him from, due to the stress it put on him and on our marriage. These are just some highlights. I won't go into the details of the daily conflicts and struggles that came with each situation, but you can imagine.
Financially it has been really tight, or lean. "Lean times," my husband says. Yes, lean it is. Time to be lean and LEAN on Christ! I have often said that I am soooooo blessed and grateful that I am a Child of God, because if I was not, I cannot even begin to imagine how truly horrible the past year and a half would have been if we had not totally leaned on Christ!! Since we belong to Him, He has truly taken care of us. Though our finances have been extremely tight, we still have everything we need and occasionally even a little extra.
Actually, I am amazed at how little we do need. Sometimes, for me, the struggle is not to keep to our extremely tight budget, but my struggle is sometimes with self denial, that is - telling myself that I really don't NEED this or that. For the past four months now we have been allowing ourselves only $65 a week for a variable budget. The variable budget being: groceries, household items, hygiene items, pet needs, leisure/entertainment (movies, eating out, etc.)... gas is not included in the variable budget. Yes, I have to be very organized. Yes, I have to plan out meals and cook often. Yes, we take our lunches to work. No, we have not had Starbucks coffee in a long time. We don't buy something until we need it. Imagine that concept! I don't get another tube of tooth paste until the one we are using only has about 2 uses left. AND! Because I have been so methodical at planning meals and using ALL the food we buy, we have had much, much less food waste! I hate wasting food. When I plan for meals/groceries, I plan so that whatever I make will make other meals. For example, when I buy a whole chicken, I know we can get a least six meals out of it; it will feed two people three times.
Then, Brandon loses his job. It was a Monday. He called me at work. I know he hated to tell me. But he did. At first, I was sick, then tears came. I thought about that $65 a week and thought how could it possibly be less. Our cars, though we don't have a monthly payent, are beginning to break down slowy and need repair. I thought, how will we ever afford/buy gifts for Christmas. Then I got mad. I called out Satan, and stood toe to toe, nose to nose with him. I spit in his face and reminded him that he is a yellow-bellied bastard who will remain under my foot. Tuesday came. Brandon applied to and had an interview with a company. By Friday he was hired! Take that Satan!! You will NOT touch my home, marriage, husband or life!!! With his new job comes less stress, benefits, and God's abundance! Now, we are still in lean times. We still stick to $65 a week, and are believing God for growth in our finances; there are still projects that will need tending to, car repairs mainly, and money for Christmas gifts and a few other little things here and there that manage to really add up. BUT! Know that God is glorified! When we have told people that Brandon was hired to a new job within a week of being released from his former job, most people are amazed and say, "In THIS economy? That's a miracle!" Yes, it is. It's a miracle because we are Children of God. He is our Father who loves his children and cares for us deeply. He gives us life and gives it more abundantly.
I've been preaching this morning. Preaching to myself, mostly. When I write about God's blessings and abundance, despite our struggles, I am encouraged. I enjoying sharing with others how, no matter what the struggle, GOD is a good God. Satan is the Destroyer, but Christ is the Giver of Life!
I enjoy getting hand written letters in the mail. I would love to get notes of encouragement in the mail from those of you who read our story and are encouraged or who are praying for us. I know many, many of you have been praying for us and I have felt the spiritual power behind those prayers! If you write to me, I'll write back. Promise. Right now, I only have 4 stamps left. So, for now, it will be the first four who write who will get letters in response! If any more of you write, I'll be believing God for more stamps for response! (Serioulsy!) Also, if you want me to come speak to a Bible Study, women's group, church, youth group etc., I would love to do that. I promise I will NOT cuss. =]
Here is our address:
The Wilhites, Brandon & Stacey
1619 Keavy Rd., Apt. B
London, KY 40744
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