The Miracle Suit.

The whole family has decided to visit a water park on Sunday. So, I spent 3 hours today trying on swim suits. It's been at least 6 years since I bought a swim suit. And since my last purchase, the swim suits have gotten smaller, and the lighting in the fitting rooms has gotten worse. Has anyone else noticed the poor lighting, or is it just me? Personally, I think the lighting should be on the floor, and light my bum from the ground up. Yes, that's what I said. Ponder that.

Of course I spent two hours trying on swim suits at Wal-Mart. The clearance rack and I became really good friends. It handed me the pink string bikini and we are having coffee together on Friday. My last shopping stop was a department store where the designer suits were on sale 50-60% off, which means they were still expensive. After a long time trying on bikinis, tankinis, two pieces, three pieces (it had a skirt), swim shorts, skirts and tank tops, I found a one-piece. I check the tag. It claimed to hold me in, shrink my body down a size or two, lift my boobs, shrink my butt, make my arms look toned, and make me look 10 years younger. I looked at the price tag. Oh my. Even at 50% off it was almost three times what I had budgeted in my head for a suit. But, with all those promises, I had to try it on. I took the one-piece miracle suit into the fitting room. I stripped down, again making a mental note about designing floor lighting for fitting rooms and making my first million. Right leg. Left leg. Shimmy up. Pull. Tug. Right arm. Left arm. Shimmy, adjust. Oh my. Suddenly, the floor lighting seemed to get better. I looked younger. My butt was smaller. My boobs were bigger. My arms looked toned. I think I even felt it messaging my shoulders.

You can't put a price on that.

Budget. What budget. Suddenly I began to rationalize spending more money than I planned. Then, the corners of my mouth crept into a grin. The grin broke into a full fledged, ear to ear smile. While standing there with my hands on my hips admiring my new body, outloud I said, "Thank you, George W." We had just deposited our economic stimulus check into our account. So, needless to say, that department store miracle went home with me.